July 6, 2016 - "Stars Die Too"

She had lost the little stars in the back of her eyes

Every second she grew acquisitive

Hear her heart thumping ice

She took solace in the quiet eve

To renew the cogwheels of her mind

Everything for tomorrow’s race

Once it was in the mornings she felt peace

With the birds humming in her ears

The sun mildly beckoning her to open her eyes

The cool breeze she enjoyed until it was time

The harshness of afternoon came

Where no stars were to be seen

Covered by the sun’s harsh rays

The birds no longer humming, but flying

She felt her time passing

But she knew it was the cycle restarting

She had lost the little stars in the back of her eyes

Instead she took the earth in it

In her death will the future stars grow?

Will they be dreamers? She hopped so.

Hey, did you like the poem I made? I hope so :)

I'm sorry I didn't talk to you for like three days or so.. I was busy. Really! I started waking up late-er than I usually would, therefore sh*t ton of 'work' piled up. I'm sorry really. 

Hey! By the way! I put a clock on the blog! Did you notice it? Pretty cool huh? The hands of the clock is my own time by the way :3 I just thought that it would  give some sort of  'update' from me. Anyway, have a good day or night! :)

July 1, 2016 - You know how much I love Skyrim

I just wanna show this to you friend :) I saw this on Tumblr, and it's just so beautiful I wanna share it to you :)

July 1, 2016 - Umm

I almost forgot about you.

I'm so sorry. I just didn't have the energy.

I kept telling myself that I'm ok. I'm lucky. That I shouldn't complain. I mean, I have a roof above my head, food to eat, water to drink, internet and other luxuries. But I just feel empty. So empty.

So I resolved talking to you, reader, who ever you are. Where ever you are. I hope you're having a meaningful life. :)

Don't worry about me, I won't commit suicide or some sh8t. I'm a tough baby (adventure time ref HA!). And I've been through worse. Do you wanna hear about it? Not really? Well, sucks to be you 'cause you don't have a choice, I'm telling it anyway hahahaa

   I grew up in a small community, sort of like a town or something. I have strict parents, but i'm not complaining, I love them and I thank God for giving them to me. Without them I might not be as good as a person I am now. So, I went in an elementary school near by, REALLY near by, the school was two streets away. I used to go home during lunch periods - the gatekeeper new me as a good and 'smart' kid and would let me go, yeah I know, looking back at it, it was weird how easily I could've been kidnapped or worse- And thus, school didn't feel like school to me. School felt like a park, a playground, another home. I got comfortable, too comfortable. I disregarded my education, thinking it was unimportant and focused on playing and having fun with my peers. Hey I was popular at elementary.
   I became dependent to my parents and I would always let them help/DO my homework. They wanted a smart child, just like my bigger brother, but their means of achieving that wasn't smart. I had above average grades, thanks to them, but I didn't learn anything. Many embarrassing, disappointing and cringe worthy memories came from that 'era' of my life.

   By the year 2011 or '10, I started highschool. My big bro was right,  highschool sucks, unless you find a way to be popular, In my country being attractive would give you some popularity boost. Charismatic, funny and umm adult minded kids became the teacher's pet. And becoming a teacher's pet makes you popular too. Intelligence on the other hand would take you far, many smart people although lacking umm good facial features. became popular. Intelligence makes a man desirable.

  I'm good-looking, hey don't judge! It's just my observation! A lot of people told me I was good-looking! Really trust meee, Maybe they told me that because they found me somewhat peculiar. I'm quarter-Spanish, quarter Chinese and half Filipino. Can you imagine my face now? Hahaha anyway, maybe they just found me exotic or something, and they associated it with beauty.

   Remember when I told you I neglected my elementary studies? Yup, that made a huge impact on my highschool life, on my whole life.

The elementary school I went in didn't offer highschool curriculum. So, I had to transfer. To a farther one about an hour away from my home.

  During my 1st year, I felt really dumb. I can't relate to other people. I can't talk. I can't fit in. I constantly felt home-sick. I lost my weight, my confidence. I was once a charismatic child you know? And that year was my 'lowest point' in life. I guess I lost my speech skill (HA Skyrim reference) anyway I don't know if I have the right to call myself depressed but yeah, I felt really down. My mother and the maid had to literally drag me away from the bed.

(I'm not rich by the way, I'm in the middle class, the reason we had a maid was because of an agreement, we feed and provide for her education in return she would serve us as a maid, cool side-story eh?).

   It was my fault but I blamed everyone, my friends, my family, my teachers, my classmates for my state. I always thought of myself as someone who was better than them, someone who understood the world better than them. Someone who saw through the social webbings (I went full philosopher on those days). But not as skilled as them. 'Wiser', but not skilled. My life was like the Fox and the Grapes (?) parable. It was relatively good but it also kinda sucked.



I'm talking sh*t right now. Pfft maybe because i'm tired and I have to do house stuffs before my parents come home. I'll finish my story I promise! Remembering past memories then writing it down very energy draining friend. But I promise on thy umm coffee mug, I'll come back and tell you everything :)

It's time for meh chores again :( See you friend!

June 30, 2016 - I HAZ MUSIC

Hey you still there? Good afternoon :) Do you like the music I just put in?

I just woke up, yeah. Remember when I told you I might return blogging and talk to you, or maybe i'll play some Skyrim or watch some Youtube videos with a fresh warm coffee,  or take a bath then go to sleep?

Well I did the last one. And then I realized, I can't go to bed with my hair still wet. And no, hahaha I don't believe in the superstition where when you go to sleep with wet hair your eyes would go blind. No friend, it would just feel VERY uncomfortable! Anyway, I blow dried my hair, or tried to- the blow drier was sh*tty, it was an old gift that was rarely used, so I just settled with sitting on my bed's edge with my phone, hoping that my damp hair would dry fast. I wanted to talk to you again, I really did try writing a blog post but I just felt tired all of a sudden so I promised myself that the first thing I would do when I wake up is to talk to you :) So I kinda just settled in researching about stuff: How to put music in a blog. I read articles and watched Youtube videos about it. I hope you like the background music, it's titled: Spanish Sahara by Foals. :) I heard it from some videogame titled Life is Strange. Pretty cool and deep game, I wish I could play it.

Anyway, how are you? What time did you wake up?

I woke up feeling nice, I felt contented, happy. :)

I even thought the time would be 7am or 10am. The sun was kinda.. mellow. I guess it's gonna rain soon. It's 4:58pm now, and my parents are gonna get home by 7pm and they don't like coming home to a messy house. I have to do my chores now. Talk to you later friend :)

June 30, 2016 - Talking properly to you

It's 12:24 am now. What time is it in your place?

I haven't cleaned the dishes yet, hahaha yeah I'm lazy. I like postponing things, I find it hard to find momentum in starting things and I easily lose focus. Dad and mom always gets angry at me for that habit of mine. You're still here? That's nice :) You can go if you're losing interest to me. No for real! Check out 9gag, it's a fun site. Do you know about it? I've been on that site since it was  -umm 'small'. Today, every page refresh, there would be 3 or more new posts in the Fresh section, sh*tty ones. Back in my time, -haha am I sounding like a granpa now to your head?- though new posts where slow to come, the content was funnier and way much more relevant and 'darker'. Pretty much like Hugelol.com today. (By the way! That site is funny too! That site is my main b*tch today!) But now, as the 9gag 'community' members increase, my interest for the site decreases. I guess I just wanted some kind of exclusivity. Some kind of private-ness in this public world. Maybe that's why I made this blog, because I know only few people, maybe none, would actually see this crap hahaha! Maybe that's why I'm talking TO you now :)

I know this is a one way communication, but that's why it's interesting(/creepy hahaaa)! Is it? Haha I don't know! But if you made it this far, maybe it is somewhat interesting. If someone's there.

You know what. Starting now. I'll stop thinking if someone's actually reading this blog. I'll start talking to you properly.

12:39am. Mom might wake up and force me to do the dishes soon :| Doncha worry, my parent's aren't strict when it comes to sleep schedule. I can stay awake till the sun rises. How about you?

The dishes-responsibility is bugging me really. Hmm might as well start them now. After that I might return blogging and talk to you. Maybe i'll play some Skyrim or watch some Youtube videos with a fresh warm coffee :3 or take a bath (hey I can take a bath whenever I want!) then go to sleeeep.


Anyways, it's nice talking to you.
Bye :)

June 30, 2016 - Hi who ever you are!

I really don't understand blogs, or the whole idea of blogging. Maybe doing this wrong. But I don't care. 

This blog will be dedicated to my relationship to you - random person reading this. IF someone's out there. 

I read in some crappy article that sharing stories is a good way to 'release stress'. So here I am, writing or in this case - talking to you. As you're reading this, you might be imagining a voice talking to you. It might even be your own voice or another person's voice. Perhaps you're reading this in some white girl's voice (because you taking into judgement the blog's design - I totally understand that) or if you actually know me, and maybe stumbled upon this blog, you maybe reading this in my voice. Either way, for the span of an undetermined time, I'll be writing/talking to you. Who ever you are. Where ever you are.


Yes. To the person -if someone's there- who's reading this, this is a new blog. The original blog I had: dabluerey.blogspot.com (Being a Being), will be dedicated to my 'research papers' and academic stuff that I will write in the -very near- future. And by academic stuffs, I mean the shit ton of papers I will write in the course of my life as a student. (Currently I am a Political Science student with some "footing" in the courses of other Social Sciences.) 

Enough about the old blog :] 

I hope we could be friends.